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User blog:Quinnmurray/Dr. Phil vs. Ernest Hemingway (With a twist)
This is sort of like Trump vs. Scrooge. It is mostly Hemingway versus his demons like Scrooge with Dr. Phil getting a verse like Trump did. Hemingway had mental problems when he got older and Dr. Phil is a pyschologist, so that is why I chose the pairing. THIS ISN'T A RELIGIOUS BATTLE! I AM NOT TRYING TO OFFEND ANYONE! And please don't hate. I tried my best. Dr. Phil- EpicLLOYD Ernest Hemingway- Nice Peter The Angel- iisuperwomanii The Devil- Zach Sherwin EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY DR. PHIL VS. ERNEST HEMINGWAY BEGIN Dr. Phil It's showtime Hemingway. This will be a changing day in your life. You won't care anyway. You'll be too busy divorcing wives. I'm shifting into overdrive. Gonna beat this beardy guy. My skills will have this layered indivual skived. We are both old men, see? But there's one contrast. You shriveled up in Cuba, but I can still kick ass. You said Farewell to your Arms after you wrote your last book. Then you drank a lot of alcohol. Man you got hooked! You took a giant shit on your final stages of your career. But your body language I am reading makes this battle finally clear. Your degrading and sudden demise was indeed sad. But I will make you look like a bitch just like your mother had! Ernest Hemingway Oh God! Am I up now? Can I beat this man? If so, how? Wow! His verse ended very quickly. Oh Dear, I am feeling quite sickly. So many questions. What should I do? The Angel Listen to me! Ernest Hemingway Who are you? The Angel Why I'm the Angel! I am the good side of your conscience. This quote doctor is nothing but nonsense! You are the best writer this world's ever seen. You could sink his ass faster than a German submarine. You are going to take shit from him? Please! After listening to me, he'll be down on his knees. This man is nothing but a dork I say. Dr. Phil is nothing compared to the man Hemingway! The Devil Don't listen to her! She's the antagonist! Ernest Hemingway Who is this one? The Devil Who me? I'm her advocate. Trust me. I know a lot more than this Gandalf the White. If you want a real rapping pit bull, then I know how to bite. Call me Eminem because I've been rapping in hell. And if you listen to the Angel, it won't end well. The Angel Don't listen to him. He is the Devil! The Devil She is just jealous she is not on my level. The Angel No I'm not! The Devil Yes you are! The Angel Am not! The Devil Are too! The Angel Am not! Ernest Hemingway Shutup! I am done with both of you. I know what to say. You are pesky idiots. So get out of my way. And as for the Oprah wannabe Do you really think you can beat me? I have a higher sovereignty. I'm a monopoly. You can barely pass classes in pyschology. Can't mess with me. My books are a symphony Every sentence in them are performed brilliantly. I have validity and consistency. You only have publicity. But your son, your father, your sisters, your daughter, your mother they love 'em all the Hemingway novels. I wrote Old Man and the Sea with a mental limp and a hobble. I'm a role model. You solve old people problems. WHO WON? WHO"S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!!!! (Two smaller ERB logos bickering a bigger one in the middle) EPIC! EPIC! EPIC! RAP! RAP! RAP! BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!! Category:Blog posts